Proverbs 31 Confession for wife and mother

           
                   My Confession                                                                     Amplified Bible

10-12  I am a capable, intelligent and virtuous woman. My husband trusts in me confidently and relies on me and believes in me securely, so that he has no lack of honest gain or need of dishonest spoil. I comfort, encourage, and do him only good as long as there is life within me. 13-14 I seek out work with willing hands to develop it. 15 I rise while it is still night and pray over my household making tremendous power of God available to them to choose. 16 I do not accept more responsibilities and duties by neglecting my present duties. I am prudent with money and sow my savings. 17-19 I gird myself with strength for my God-given tasks. I taste and see that the gain from my work with and for God is good. My lamp does not go out, but it burns on continually and drives out fear and doubt. 20 I open my hand to the poor and reach out my filled hands to the needy, whether in body, mind or spirit. 21-22 I clothe my children in love, kindness and tenderness. I am always building myself up in the Word and developing my "God clothes" so I can give them out to my family. 23 My husband is known and respected in the city, in the land. 25-26 Strength and dignity are my clothing and my position is strong and secure. I rejoice over the future, knowing that me and my family are ready for it. I open my mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom and on my tongue is the law of kindness, giving counsel and instruction. 27 I look well to how things go in my household, and the bread of idleness, gossip, discontent, and self-pity are not entered into or tolerated. 28-29 My children rise up and call me blessed, happy, fortunate, and to be envied. My husband boasts of and praises me and says that I excel in virtue and strength of character and that I am steadfast in goodness.

10 A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman—who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. 12 She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her. 13 She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it]. 14 She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household’s food from a far [country]. 15 She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids their tasks. 16 She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task] and makes her arms strong and firm. 18 She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out, but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away fear, doubt, and distrust]. 19 She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in body, mind, or spirit]. 21 She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the temple were made]. 23 Her husband is known in the [city’s] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free one up for service]. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]! 26 She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]. 27 She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying], 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all.

Love: Rejoicing At Injustice

Have you ever found yourself glad when your husband was exposed as being wrong about something, especially when it was in front of your family and friends?  Like you've finally been vindicated?  Have you ever found yourself making jokes in front of those same family and friends at your husband's expense?  Did it seem, at the time, that everyone was having a great time, maybe even your husband was laughing?  But when you caught your husband's eye, you saw pain and hurt? 

This is not the love nature of God.  You can see in our main text, 1 Corinthians 13:6 that love "does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail."  We cut our husband down at the knees by making fun of him and magnifying his faults, particularly in front of others.  You are inviting others to have this negative thought as the last thing they think about your husband.  Instead, we need to be infusing their thoughts with all the positive, wonderful things about our husbands.  Lifting them up and even saying nice things about him that maybe we haven't seen in years or have never seen. Not lying, but confessing those wonderful things and allowing them to manifest in him. Our words are so powerful, they cause those things which are not, to be.  The more we say them, the more we believe them, the more they become reality.  Good or bad, this is a spiritual law.  Let's look at Mark 11:23-24 (Amp)

Truly I tell you, whoever says to this mountain, be lifted up and thrown into the sea! and does not doubt at all in his heart but believes that what he says will take place, it will be done for him.  For this reason I am telling you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe (trust and be confident) that it is granted to you, and you will [get it].

And I will give you another scripture as well.   1John 5:14-15 (Amp.):

¹⁴And this is the confidence (the assurance, the privilege of boldness) which we have in Him: [we are sure] that if we ask anything (make any request) according to His will (in agreement with His own plan), He listens to and hears us, ¹⁵and if (since) we [positively] know that He listens to us in whatever we ask, we also know [with settled and absolute knowledge] that we have [granted us as our present possessions] the requests made of Him.

This belongs to us.  What we say with our mouths is critical.

Now look at James 3:3-5 (Amp).

³If we set bits in the horses' mouths to make them obey us, we can turn their whole bodies about.  ⁴Likewise, look at the ships; though they are so great and are driven by rough winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the impulse of the helmsman determines.  ⁵Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things.  See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze!

With our mouth we can create greatness or we can create destruction.  James 3:9-10 goes on to say "With it (our mouth) we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who were made in God's likeness!  Out of the same mouth come forth blessing and cursing.  These things, my brethern, ought not to be so."

Rejoicing at injustice is cursing and then we go to church and praise God. We cry and ask or even beg for help but go home and go right back to what we were doing: cursing our husband. 

What we speak will bring blessing or cursing.  Stop confessing that your husband is cursed by rejoicing at his failures.  Going back to 1Corinthians 13:6, "[Love] does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail."  Right and truth will prevail when you call start speaking it out.  How do you do that when you are bombarded with thoughts of how awful your marriage is or your husband or all the suffered wrongs you have faced?  Let's look at Phillipians 4:8:

For the rest , brethern, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and wiegh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].

So if ever we were to keep score in our marriage, it would be to keep score of all the lovely, kind and worthy of praise things in life, not the failures and injustices.

How can we continue to think on failures, weaknesses and mistakes of our husband when we are only caught up thinking on things that are pure, right, lovely, etc.?  How do you want your husband to be?  Speak out those things continually and earnestly believing that God will fulfill those things because you spoke them, believe them and earnestly believe they are true.

Here are a few examples of what we should be saying about our husband (check out November 2011 blog "Confessions Over Your Spouse" for more examples):

"My husband desires to be with me and the family.  He loves to be a help in the house."

"My husband is strengthened with all might unto all patience, endurance and joy.” (Col. 1:11)

"My husband stands perfect and complete in all the will of God.” (Col 4:12)

“Christ is glorified in my husband.” (2Thes.1:12)

The Word is the ultimate Good Report!  Speak it over your husband at every opportunity and even in front of others. They will eventually start agreeing with you and the positive report will now be the last thing they hear about your husband.  How things will start to turn around for you!

Thank the Father that the Word is being done in your husband’s life.  It's not “magic”. There is greater power in the Word than in any magic show or worldly thing.  When you speak the Word over your husband, that power becomes available to him to receive and to do a work in him. Hallelujah!

© 2011 Michelle Serna

Love: A Suffered Wrong

Love pays no attention to a suffered wrong.  Yes ladies, this is really in the Bible.  This is really the love nature of God. God doesn't keep score.  When you ask Him for forgiveness and you truly mean it, the Word says He forgets it and it’s as if it never happened.  He blots it out. 

This may seem practically impossible if you have ever been truly hurt by someone.  But "all things are possible with God." (Matthew 19:26) 

Keeping score is fun when you are playing a game and it can even be exciting when your son's soccer team is about to win, but it has absolutely no place in a marriage.  Taking account of a suffered wrong by your husband and then conveniently bringing it up and lording it over his head every time you want to win an argument is not walking in God's love and it will ultimately drive a permanent wedge between you and your husband.  "But remember when you did such and such to me?" 

Proverbs 19:11 says "Good sense makes a man restrain his anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression or an offense."  The Message Bible says in Galations 6:1-3:

 Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ's law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.

Verses 4 and 5 of that same chapter go on to give further instruction for you.

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

When we realize we are also not perfect and that we would want someone else to lovingly overlook our faults, it makes it easier for us to do the same for others.  How much more we should treat our husbands right?  He is the one who offered to share his life with you for the rest of your life.  This is not someone we see once on the street and go on with our lives.  We are to bear one another's burdens, lift them up and encourage them in their growth in Christ.

© 2011 Michelle Serna

Love Is Not Touchy

Continuing on in 1 Corinthians 12:5 we see God's love in us is not touchy.  What does it mean "touchy".  Do you ever find yourself exclaiming in unbelief at a mere suggestion made by your husband? 

Are you easily upset, irritable, quick-tempered or sensitive, or all of the above?  Then you are touchy.  How about moody? Being moody all comes down to one thing.  You are being ruled by your emotions instead of by Jesus instead of your Lord and Savior.  When you get caught up by emotion and let emotion rule your life, you are letting emotions be your lord.  You are saying you have more confidence in your emotions than you do in Jesus, the Word.

When we are ruled by emotions, we think it gives us permission to say everything we are thinking and feeling.  But the fact is, moodiness is not a characteristic of God's love.  When we are up and happy one minute and angry and irritable the next, our husbands don't know how to respond to us and frankly, don't want to be around us.  And nowhere in the Bible does it say that women are just more emotional than men so it's okay to behave like this.  If God did make women more sensitive, it was so we could be more compassionate towards others and to be able to be a help meet to our husbands, not so we could use it against them and to repel them.

We teach our kids to be kind, to share, to listen and not hurt other people's feelings and then we turn around and do the opposite when it comes to our husbands.  Actions speak louder than words and our kids are watching us.  They will not only pick up your good habits but also your bad ones.

Again, we must filter our actions and words through the Word of God in order to renew our minds and change our thinking about God's love and how to operate in it.  We can do this with the help of the Holy Spirit.  We must only ask.  The Word says He is our Helper and Counselor.  How long could you do your job without proper tools?  How well could you do it?  The Holy Spirit is the tool to help us live our lives through the word.  Love only makes being married sweeter, never sour.  Love only brings blessings, never curses.  Love only builds up, never tears down.

© 2011 Michelle Serna

Your Own Rights

What does the Bible have to say about your rights?  It says to never insist on them when it comes to love.  God made us to have our own will.  He wants us to follow His will because it always brings blessing and increase, but He will never force His will on us. This is the nature of God.  So now that we are born again and have the nature of God on the inside of us, we are able to love God's way.  That's what the love scriptures in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 tell us: how to love God's way.  It wouldn't be there if it weren't possible.

Not insisting on our own rights goes against human nature for us.  But thankfully, we also have a new nature - God's nature.  It doesn't mean that the moment we became born again our old nature disappeared.  No, we must overcome that old nature with a renewed way of thinking and realize all that is within us.  The Greater One is on the inside of us.  We have to draw it out so others can see it.  We do this by changing the way we speak and think.  We must know that what the Bible tells about us is true.

Let's go to a somewhat controversial scripture in the Bible.  It is only controversial because many people take it out of context and they try to make it fit a situation that has no God in it.  Ephesians 5:22 says:

Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.

This does not say "Wives, be a doormat for your husband and do everything he says even if it is vile and not of the Lord."

What this verse does say is to be adaptable to your husband.  Remember that God did not intend to have our husbands to be exactly like us and it is not our responsibility to try to make them just like us.  They are different for a reason.  If they were the same, then one of us is not necessary.  But I know if we will think carefully, we would find many strengths in our husbands that we ourselves do not possess and vice versa.  We are to take pleasure in each others strengths for a mutually beneficial outcome, not to compete or say "my way or the highway!"

Adapting yourself to your husband creates peace.  It creates an atmosphere of cooperativeness.  Once you determine what helps him best flow in life, you can adapt the household needs around it to create a better and more efficient way to get things done. 

For example, when your husband comes home from work and needs to unwind by watching the news, give him that time before tasking him with taking out the trash, helping with the kids, and whatever plans you have for him.  It seems small but it gives him time to prepare for the many things to do. 

When applying the "submit" verse, you must always review the verse preceding it, 21:

Be subject to one another out of reverence to Christ.

So the Bible never tells us it is a one way street, wives not only have to be subject to their husbands, but we must be subject to each other.  But you will never get anywhere in your marriage by trying to make your husband be subject to you by insisting on your own rights.  It is not done in love.  It can't be because the Bible clearly states Love does not insist on its own rights (I Corinthians 13:5).

© 2011 Michelle Serna

Confessions Over Your Spouse

Insert your spouse's name in each blank.  Confess over your spouse whenever you are tempted to think on negative things about your spouse.  While everyone has their own will, when you pray the Word of God over them (earnestly and sincerely), there is tremedous power made available for them to choose the Word of God (James 5:16b).

I surround ________ in faith and love.

I thank you Father that:

• I have peace in my mind and home
• __________ loves to serve You
• __________ has a call on his life and he is consistently and persistently moving toward it
• __________ has a heart for You and Your purpose
• __________ never gives up on that which is right and of excellence.
• __________ has a sound mind and has great peace (2 Tim. 1:7)
• __________ is found perfect and complete in all Your will and Your plan (Col 4:12)
• __________’s love abounds more and more in knowledge and in all judgment (Phil. 1:9)
• __________ approves things that are excellent (Phil. 1:10)
• __________ is sincere and without offence (Phil. 1:10)
• __________ is filled with the fruits of righteousness (Phil. 1:11)
• __________ is strengthened with might in his inner man (Eph. 3:16)
• You make __________ to increase his love toward me and all men (1 Thes. 3:12)
• Jesus is glorified in __________ (2 Thes. 1:12)
• __________ is rooted and grounded in love (Eph.  3:17)
• __________ has a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of You and __________’s eyes are open to that he know the hope of Your calling and his inheritance in the saints and __________ knows Your exceeding power working in him (Eph 1:16-19)

Love is Not Rude

Do you tolerate complete strangers being rude to you or your family?    I know I don’t.  How about if your kids are rude to you?  You better not tolerate it or you will have a heap of trouble as they grow older.

How is it then we feel perfectly okay with being rude to our husband?  Verse 5 says love “is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly.

Look up "rude" in the dictionary and you find: disrespectful, offensive, bad-mannered and vulgar.  Now ask yourself if you would like others to be disrespectful, offensive, bad-mannered and vulgar to you.  I know, I know, it sneaks up on you.  Certainly you did not attract your husband by being all these things.  Now we just have to "catch" ourselves in the act and ask for the help of the Holy Spirit to keep you from saying the first rude thing that comes to your mind.

"But I don't want to be a doormat.  He says the same things and worse to me!” you might say.  I realize that and it doesn't make logical sense, however, you will find the less often you engage in these "unprofitable" discussions, the less often they will happen.  Your husband will start to notice a change in you.

Let's look at Ephesians 4:29 (Amplified)

Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it.

            So you need to always line up what comes out of your mouth with what the bible says.  Is what is coming out of your mouth beneficial to your husband?  Will it help his spiritual progress?  Does it give blessings and grace?  If not, it should not be said to him or about him.

© 2011 Michelle Serna