What does the Bible have to say about your rights? It says to never insist on them when it comes to love. God made us to have our own will. He wants us to follow His will because it always brings blessing and increase, but He will never force His will on us. This is the nature of God. So now that we are born again and have the nature of God on the inside of us, we are able to love God's way. That's what the love scriptures in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 tell us: how to love God's way. It wouldn't be there if it weren't possible.
Not insisting on our own rights goes against human nature for us. But thankfully, we also have a new nature - God's nature. It doesn't mean that the moment we became born again our old nature disappeared. No, we must overcome that old nature with a renewed way of thinking and realize all that is within us. The Greater One is on the inside of us. We have to draw it out so others can see it. We do this by changing the way we speak and think. We must know that what the Bible tells about us is true.
Let's go to a somewhat controversial scripture in the Bible. It is only controversial because many people take it out of context and they try to make it fit a situation that has no God in it. Ephesians 5:22 says:
Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.
This does not say "Wives, be a doormat for your husband and do everything he says even if it is vile and not of the Lord."
What this verse does say is to be adaptable to your husband. Remember that God did not intend to have our husbands to be exactly like us and it is not our responsibility to try to make them just like us. They are different for a reason. If they were the same, then one of us is not necessary. But I know if we will think carefully, we would find many strengths in our husbands that we ourselves do not possess and vice versa. We are to take pleasure in each others strengths for a mutually beneficial outcome, not to compete or say "my way or the highway!"
Adapting yourself to your husband creates peace. It creates an atmosphere of cooperativeness. Once you determine what helps him best flow in life, you can adapt the household needs around it to create a better and more efficient way to get things done.
For example, when your husband comes home from work and needs to unwind by watching the news, give him that time before tasking him with taking out the trash, helping with the kids, and whatever plans you have for him. It seems small but it gives him time to prepare for the many things to do.
When applying the "submit" verse, you must always review the verse preceding it, 21:
Be subject to one another out of reverence to Christ.
So the Bible never tells us it is a one way street, wives not only have to be subject to their husbands, but we must be subject to each other. But you will never get anywhere in your marriage by trying to make your husband be subject to you by insisting on your own rights. It is not done in love. It can't be because the Bible clearly states Love does not insist on its own rights (I Corinthians 13:5).
© 2011 Michelle Serna
